Sorry
by squidsplosion
Summary: His breath fogged up his glasses and his tears stung his cheeks as they hit frigid air, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Akashi deserved someone who would at least respond to his feelings, and Midorima knew it wasn't him.


When Midorima was in Teiko, he had nothing but respect for Akashi (admittedly from the fact that he beat Shintarou at _everything._ ) He often wondered why the redhead even bothered to speak with him, let alone play games of shogi, yet every afternoon, without fail, there was the same crimson haired player sitting across from him.

He didn't mind, though: Akashi was important to him, and he simply felt more at ease with the captain. While most wouldn't call a rapid increase of heart rate 'ease', it was better than the pain that happened when the redhead turned into his _other self_ around players that left him wondering who his friend really was. But when they played shogi against each other, the captain smiled more, even laughed, and, most noticeably, his eyes sparkled with something Midorima could not name, yet it made him happy to see it. Thus he learned shogi was Akashi's home, and it became Midorima's as well.

He never knew three simple words could destroy a home until the last weeks of middle school, during the closest game of shogi he ever played with Akashi.

"Shintarou," he glanced at twin rubies, but found himself stunned. For the first time in his life, no doubt, Akashi appeared _uncertain._

Frozen with shock, it took several moments for Midorima to regain his composure and respond, only to have it shattered entirely by a simple: "I love you."

Words of comfort bubbled to his lips, prying them open, but no more than a slight gush of air coming out. He wished he could simply say what he felt, respond in what he felt was proper. But words found no foothold and, as such, was left as a gaping fish in front of the emperor. Midorima's chest tightened- those cold eyes look surprisingly _hurt_ at his lack of words.

"I see…" the shorter player smiled, albeit bitterly. "It was a fool's gamble to even assume you preferred men. My apologies." With a loud screech of the chair breaking the heavy silence, Akashi excused himself from the room. As crimson hair exited his sight, Midorima, for reasons unknown, saw the world blur and felt his eyes sting of bitterness.

He didn't see the redhead again for the rest of middle school.

* * *

The next time Midorima saw Akashi, it was at the quarterfinals of the wintercup. There, he saw the same cold and ruthless captain, but deep down he knew the smaller man had changed. He hardly acknowledged Midorima, and the ace felt that same pressure on his chest from middle school.

He remembered he cried afterwards and split off from his teammates, tired of the sad atmosphere and wanting to mope alone. It was a chilly night, he saw his breath in front of him, but made no move to return inside, not when Akashi was there.

As if defying his every wish, he saw crimson hair turn towards him, face impassive and delicate lips curved into a frown. "Midorima-kun," his voice was hard, making the larger man flinch. Internally he knew he deserved such coldness. A lack of response to such a heartfelt confession was unforgivable. "You should head inside, your teammates are concerned."

"I don't want to," it was admittedly childish, but he knew once he stepped into the light, then Akashi would know everything.

Red eyes narrowed, appearing snake-like at this point. He knew he would eventually submit to the emperor, everyone always did, but his body did not react in the way he expected.

Midorima was curled up on the floor now, crying into his arms. His breath fogged up his glasses and his tears stung his cheeks as drops hit frigid air, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His chest was unbelievably tight now and his head spun. He whispered apologies over and over: sorry for hurting you, sorry for causing you trouble, sorry for _not saying I love you._

When he looked up, he saw ruby eyes filled with warmth, and the cold night was entirely forgotten. Rough hands wiped away his tears, delicate lips twisted with worry and eyebrows furrowed with concern. Midorima reached out and touched Akashi's face, his own hands seeming colossal against such a surprisingly small face (he knew Akashi was small compared to him, but up close he appeared almost doll-like), pale skin soft and warm.

The duo sat like that for a long time, Midorima on the floor, hands cradling Akashi's face, whilst the red head crouched and held his tears. They found no words to say, and this time it was the crimson haired boy that gaped like a fish, so unused to seeing such an emotional response from Midorima.

"I'm sorry I love you," Midorima whispered. He leaned in and learned Akashi's lips were soft. The redhead smelled like vanilla and sweat, and his heart raced with each intake of his scent. His hair was liquid as it poured through Midorima's fingers, and each gasp of air made the world spin faster.

When they finally broke, their foreheads still touched, and red eyes were intense as a flame. Lips curved into a smile and said: "I'm sorry I love you too."


End file.
